My One Day Employment

My 1 day employment

So, after landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.  

 

I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Walmart.  Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?' 

 

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.

 

Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.'

 

 

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

 

Idiots Stand Up

Idiots Stand Up

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said
the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his
feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the
teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself."

Note: A stupid man who answers every question with "I Don't Know" is
truly wise for he is never wrong.

Bathing Beauties 1890-1920

Toonz1

Toonz 2

Toonz 3

Tennis Star Danielle

Old photos

1926 - The Mayo Man   Hotel Manhattan - 1904

LEO2 -: Canoe

Two women are hiking in the woods. After an hour or so, they come
to a stream. Unable to cross, they decide to walk along the
stream and look for a narrower place. Fortunately they come to an
old bridge spanning the stream. Deciding the bridge safe, the two
women proceed to cross. Halfway across, one woman stops and says
to the other,

"I've always wanted to be like the guys, and pee off a bridge."

The other woman looks around and says,

"Well, I don't see anyone around, now's your chance!"

The first woman drops her hiking shorts and backs over to the
side of the bridge. As she begins to pee, she looks over her
shoulder.

"Holly shit!" she exclaims, "I just pissed in a canoe!"

Alarmed, the second woman hurries over, and peeks down at the
stream below.

"Calm down," she says. "That wasn't a canoe you pissed in, it was
just your cunt reflection."

 

_.

LEO2 . the bobbitt hillbillies

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John. A poor Ex-Marine
with a little fraction gone- It seems one night after getting with the
wife She Lopped off his Dong with the swipe of a knife.
PENIS, That Is.
Clean Cut.
Missed His Nuts.

 

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side And Lorena's
in the car taking Willie for a ride She soon got tired of her
purple-headed friend And tossed him out the window as she came around a
bend.
CURVE, That is
Tossed the Nub
In the Shrub.

 

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the
hounds just to get his Weenie back They sniffed and they barked and they
pointed "over there!" To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.
FOUND, That is
By a Fence.
Evidence.

 

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a Dick Doc said, "Hey
I can fix that dong." A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need And
the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed.
WHIZZED, That Is
Even Seam,
Straight Stream.

 

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court With a
half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short They cleared her of
assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker was the only thing they
didn't show on tape.
VIDEO, That Is
Unexposed.
Case Closed.

 

Ya'll Sleep on Your Stomachs Now,
Ya Hear......

LEO2 -: Hillary Duff Upskirt